


Superman Gets *Around*

by Elf (Elfwreck)



Category: DCU - Comicverse, Superman (Comics)
Genre: Community: kink_bingo, Crack, Decadence, F/M, Filk, Gift Fic, Kinky sex, Lists, M/M, Multi, Other, Polyamory, Superheroes, Superpower Sex, miscellaneous other kinks, superdickery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-24
Updated: 2012-08-24
Packaged: 2017-11-12 19:46:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/495000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elfwreck/pseuds/Elf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Superman has super-stamina and immunity to all human diseases.<br/>Filk, to the tune of "88 Lines About 44 Women," by the Nails.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Superman Gets *Around*

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Teland](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Teland/gifts).



> Beta help from the wonderful tablesaw and opusculasedfera, both of whom fixed scansion and rhyme problems that I would've missed.
> 
> Te, this is all your fault for saying that Superman's 'type' is 'sentient, and not currently engaged in a major felony.'

Lois is a journalist  
She likes sex up in the sky

Batman keeps it underground  
In his cave, he's never shy

Wonder Woman is a princess  
Always has to be on top

Lex, my sweetheart back in high school,  
He turned evil, had to stop

[ _humming_ ]

Green Arrow, Ollie, is completely  
Straight but loves a two-on-one

Arsenal has piercings that  
Make giving head a lot of fun

Mercy Graves came on too strong  
Must've been a Luthor plot

Nightwing loves to bend and twist  
To show off everything he's got

[ _humming_ ]

Black Canary is a screamer  
Breaks the windows every time

J'onn the Martian changes shape  
Pulls my kinks straight from my mind

Green Lantern's ring is powerful  
Hal can make a green boudoir

The AI in my Fortress tells me  
Nothing ever goes too far

[ _humming_ ]

Oracle can phone it in  
Sweet long-distance dirty talk

Vicky Vale was off the record,  
Asked why I don't wear a jock

Jimmy loves his camera  
Keeps a scrapbook by his bed

Perry knelt submissively  
"Don't call me Chief" is what he said

[ _humming_ ]

Lana Lang has freckle-dots  
Constellations on her skin

Starfire's eyes are glowing hot  
She's one sexy alien

Aquaman sleeps with the fishes  
Brings a friend with tentacles

Wally, Flash, does what he wishes  
When our speed's identical.

[ _humming_ ]

Red Hood brings nostalgia on  
Memories of sweeter years

Cyborg's always packing lube  
Has to keep it for his gears

Beast Boy has a kinky side  
Inciting bestiality

Deathstroke goes from fight to fuck  
With no change in brutality  
(Uh-uh, not Deathstroke . . .)

[ _humming_ ]

Kid Flash isn't Impulse now  
But still impatient, likes it quick

Red Robin has a toy collection  
And five different kinds of slick

Wonder Girl can swing that lasso  
Always wants to tie me up

Robin V is young and bratty  
Needs a spanking, not a fuck

[ _humming_ ]

Power Girl just won't put out  
Even though we're no relation

Supergirl has no such qualms  
Loves to revel in sensation. 

Arrowette, the feisty one  
Gives tongue-lashings so exquisite

Superboy, my clone or son,  
Should definitely be off-limits

[ _humming_ ]

Booster Gold's a glory hound  
Wants his groupies to join in.

Blue Beetle follows him around  
Ted's machines are built for sin

GA2, young Connor Hawke,  
Is chaste but loves to kiss and cuddle

Grace Choi, strong and violent,  
Turns the bed frame into rubble

 

Huntress wears a strap-on rig  
She likes a bit of sodomy

Lucius Fox is sexy but  
Devoted to monogamy

Black Bat is the silent type  
Builds a physical rapport

Spoiler Robin Batgirl Steph  
Takes what she wants, comes back for more

 

Speedster Max spent forty weeks  
Teaching Impulse not to tweak

Zatanna only has to speak  
To share her magical mystique

Hawkman comes from Thanagar  
He's an archeologist

Alfred, showing such finesse  
Maybe someday you'll say yes


End file.
